melinda keily quilts

A small solo show of hand stitched work stitched during the Melbourne lockdowns.

People vs Empire, 394 Burwood Road, Hawthorn

A group show

Linden New Art, Bunurong Boon Wurrung Country, 26 Acland Street, ST KILDA VIC 3182

Neon Parlour, 791 - 793 High Street, Thornbury

Group Show with Lana Daubermann, Bianca Loiacano & Alicia Sometimes.

Sadly this exhibition was cancelled by Covid, a week prior to opening night.

This quilt is for Dan Duggan, Australian citizen, who is currently being held in solitary confinement in Lithgow Correctional Centre, here in Australia. Dan has been held under these conditions at the here-say of the US Government, for more than 550 days now. The treatment is inhumane. You can read more here and help support Dan’s legal fee’s and family by buying a “Bird for Freedom” here.

Please contact me if you would lik a copy to help with our fund-raising efforts.

I started this quilt late in 2022 to help promote the work of journalist, Amy McQuire and Senior Advocate for Prisoner Support Services, Martin Hodgson in the case of Kevin Henry. Kevin is an Indigenous Australian man who was convicted of murder back in 1991. He spent 29 years in jail. He maintains his innocence to this day.

I also wanted to send a message of support to Kevin letting him know his story matters and his truth deserves to be heard.

You can hear more about how I came to this quilt on my blog here.

You can support Amy & Martin’s work via their Patreon page and listen to their Podcast Curtain The Podcast detailing the incompetencies and failings that led to Kevin’s conviction.

This quilt was mailed to Kevin on the 12th May 2023. Over 56 individuals stepped forward to send love and support to Kevin via this quilt.

If you have signed the quilt and are wondering What’s next? I’ve written a post on how you can continue to support Amy & Martin’s work & legal fees to assist with Kevin’s exoneration here.

Unfortunately, Kevin’s case isn’t a one-off case. This invisibility and systemic oppression is the reality for many First Nations Peoples. I will post some further recommendations for people who are willing to continue the work themselves in order to educate and take action. We have the ability, each and everyone of us, to bring our awareness to the ways we participate in perpetuating this oppression in our everyday lives…. from the subtle to the perverse.

Thanks again to everyone who stepped forward in support of Kevin. May he feel the love imbued in each stitch & the support each name stitched into the quilt holds for his truth.

The messaged stitched into the back of the quilt for Kevin.

Names of support being stitched on.

This quilt was made during the Melbourne Locksdowns of 2021. It’s symbolic of the many losses we experienced in isolation. Without our family and friends by our side, it was hard to make sense of these loses.

For my dad with dementia, none of it made any sense at all.

Valuable connections, memories and physical functions fell away. For those with family in care, this separation hastened the decline of our loved ones.

This quilt evolved as Dad’s memories faded. I stitched the details of his life into this quilt during visits with him. It hung in his room to remind him of his story and his place in this world and remind him that he is loved.

As Tracey Chalmers, End of Life Doula, said….. at the end of life people want to know “if they’ve loved enough and if they are loved”. Hopefully this quilt helped Dad remember he achieved both.

The passage quilt process is a beautiful and delicate collaboration between the individual or family commissioning the quilt, the person or spirit of the one embodied within the quilt and myself as the facilitator and artist. It is a way of helping families navigate loss, or transition, through the repurposing of everyday materials into quilts that carry the essence of their loved one.

Below is an account written by my friend and client, Evette, detailing her experience with Passage Quilting after her dad, Ian, passed away.

Processing Grief Using Creativity.

In May 2021, I lost my dad. The loss was unexpected and sudden, and as many ofyou are reading this may relate, nothing can ever prepare you for the loss you feelwhen you lose someone close. A quote says, "Grief is the price we pay for love". Thedeeper the love, the more profound the grief. My grief was immense. Talking about death is a difficult topic for many people. When someone dies, manypeople don't know what to say. So, often they say nothing. They talk about otherthings that try to distract you. But imagine going through pain and loss and not feeling like you can talk about it. Some people think mentioning the departedperson's name will make you sad, and sometimes it does. But especially for peoplelike mum, who deeply loved dad, there continues to be nothing more comforting thantalking about and hearing dad's name.

Navigating loss through memory quilting.

When a loved one dies, we often hold onto their favourite things to stay connected tothem. A few months after dad passed, I was out for a walk with Mel who was discussing some of her recent work with me. Mel had been learning about Passage Quilting: the embodied process of making quilts from the clothes of everyday people. Mel assisted my family in navigating our loss through passage quilting. The process began by sitting down with mum to go through all of my dad's clothing and select pieces that would form the finished quilt. Each piece of clothing was rich in storiesabout dad's life and our lives with him. We recorded this moment to capture theemotion and importance of each of dad's memorable pieces. This video became anartefact for Mel as she began the quilting process.

Passage quilting is a therapeutic process.

Mel was incredible at holding space for my grief. She facilitated the hands-on approach of passage quilting through empathic collaboration and consultation. The hardest part of the journey for me was cutting the clothes. I didn’t physically do it myself. I chose to leave that to Mel. But it was difficult– it represented another moment in the grief process where I was required to say goodbye to dad all over again.

Memory quilting is a creative process.

It is a process that requires rapport, trust and relinquishing control. The quilt andartworks were cut and pieced together without a predetermined pattern. The different textures and forms of the fabrics gave the quilt a life of its own. The finished quilt carries the comforting essence of my dad's presence. He is not present, but I can feel his presence.

Letting go.

On what would have been my parents; 50th wedding anniversary several weeks ago,I passed the quilt to mum. I was nervous. Throughout the journey working with Mel, mum had handed over all decision-making to me. I desperately hoped she loved it asmuch as I did. It was an emotional unboxing, full of tears, hugs and the sharing ofhappy memories. Immediately, mum started sharing stories about dad and thedifferent pieces of the quilt and his life. The quilt gifted her permission and anartefact to talk about dad and to share key moments and memories about him. Mum refers to it fondly as her "comfort quilt". This passage quilt of dad's life is aninter-generational keep sake that will continue to live on.

I found these read and green squares pre-cut in my mum’s sewing box after she died. I have no idea what she intended to do with them but I wanted to create something as a way of collaborating with her, one last time. This quilts is a great comfort and sits on the edge of our couch. It’s an everyday reminder of her presence.

This quilt ws made out of A’s childhood clothing. It was completely hand quilted and stitched with his name on the backing.

Edging hand stitched with a quote:

“Wisdom: she shows us how to do really hard things in really beautiful ways”

A fun play on intentions and visions for the coming year.

A house warming gift.

A birthday gift for a bestie.

An 81st birthday gift for a sea loving fella.

A birthday present for a daily dawn sea swimmer.

This piece, to me, represents betrayal blindness. It speaks of how our intergenerational trauma effects our current orientation in the world. When we are primed to endure betrayal (abuse/neglect) by our primary care givers we can develop a level of blindness to the ones we love, the ones we are loyal to. In life this can set us up to choose partners or become enmeshed in situations where we can become the victim in a repetitive victim-perpetrator role.... rendering us unable to step away, for blind love.

It is often learnt from a very young age that expressing anger or rage is unacceptable and unsafe to do.

When Anger does bellow up in unhealthy ways it is generally masking an extreme sense of powerlessness.

"Sometimes trauma comes to us across generations. When our parents and grand-parents carried unresolved trauma we inherit their fears and distorted perceptions and our (trauma) world is formed around their experiences." ~ Daniela Sieff 'Trauma Worlds and the Wisdom of Marion Woodman.'

What hasn't been healed or observed in our history plays a role in how we ourselves view our position in this lifetime, in our families, in society and how we live in the world. The fears and unresolved experiences of our ancestors can greatly affect our relationships and our experience of the world around us. Until these experiences are viewed with humility, honesty and compassion they can be carried, unconsciously, down the generations.

Shame creates insidious cycles of abuse.

Shame is usually tucked into the deepest recesses of our being. When unobserved it feeds our deepest wounds and accelerates adaptive behaviours as a means of hiding the wound. In their extreme these adaptations can be seen as narcissistic personality traits, dissociative personalities and sociopathic behaviours.

Belonging and connection are fundamentally vital to our survival. Our connections are shattered by family secrets, abuse and betrayal.

These traumas result in a loss of connection to networks, family members, community and supportive resources. We can become rudderless fighting for survival in a world full of exclusions.

The internal fall out from this loss of connection can be even more insidious. It can result in a loss of connection to our very selves, to our felt sense, gut feelings and self compassion.

We can quite literally be internally blown apart. We look outward to anchor, to belong and to find peace or something/one to soothe us. This can prime us for addictions, further abuse and a compounded sense of self-loathing.

Represents the duality that exists within ourselves, our relationship and our family systems. In the case of abuse these debts can be wrongly assigned with innocence being handed over to our perpetrators and guilt being held by the victim. This is a way perpetrators accelerate our shame pockets and keep us in a loop of abuse. Sexual abuse survivors are required to hold two truths the reality that they present to the world that nothing is wrong and the one they hold inside that something is indeed very wrong. This sets up a secret life where the survivors are not only cut off from an aspect of themselves they are also cut off from people around them. They experience even greater isolation and abandonment in a moment of great need where they ache to be witnessed and held by a trusted other.

This quilt was designed by my son (at 10 years) who was keen to contribute to this series. Its yellow centre represents him and the surrounding pink, white and red represent his life experiences. There is innocence, hope and also awareness of his family system.

Being seen, held and witnessed by a loving individual helps to heal traumatic experiences, this is his hope for every individual.